That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Fuck appropriateness.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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