It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
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The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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