me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
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And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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