After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
my shit smells like andre
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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