No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
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Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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