I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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