I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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