Who did Billy Mays play for?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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