At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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