i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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