in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize