Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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