dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom said you looked used
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize