Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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