i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize