butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I need to calm my uterus...
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