Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He passed out mid-signature
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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