I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
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If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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