she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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