I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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