I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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