do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
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Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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