My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize