Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize