it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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