Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just cut my nipple shaving
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
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when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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