Soap is not a condiment
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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