2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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