some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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