Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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