counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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