he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
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Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
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