your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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