forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize