I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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