I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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