Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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