Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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