what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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