i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I FOUND THE LEGS
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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