I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize