ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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