I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize