if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize