I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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