bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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