After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
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I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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