she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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