You can't motorboat a personality
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize