Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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